How to Select the Best Sex Toy for You?

While the abundance of sex toys offered to women is wonderful, it can also be quite overwhelming when deciding what you truly want to try...

Hello! I'm Florence, and I'm the author of 'This book will make you feel something', the definitive guide to female masturbation. With my best friend Reed Amber, I co-founded ComeCurious, a sex education content empire (slight exaggeration). For nearly a decade, we've been making programming centered on sex, most notably on our podcast F**ks Given.

When it comes to sex toys, I've been really fortunate, since I've been sent nearly all of them to test and try out. And, while it may appear like I'm rubbing your nose in it, I assure you that I'm not attempting to make you jealous. That's why I believe I'm the greatest person to talk to on how to find the correct sex toy for you. So let's get started...

First, I'd like you to consider how you like to feel pleasure. I have some questions for you to consider, journal about, or perhaps discuss with a close friend.

What is stopping you?

Is there anything preventing you from making that purchase? When I consider purchasing sex toys, I consider it self-care. It's the same as purchasing a candle, lotion, or chocolates. Aside from all of the aforementioned, a sex toy will provide you with far greater enjoyment.

More honestly, is there any shame in the battle to obtain a sex toy? I wish I could say that no one feels ashamed about their sexuality, but the truth is exactly the contrary. Because of how we were raised, the education system, religion, our parents, porn, or wherever our learnings originated from, we all have underlying shame about our bodies, pleasure, and sex. When it comes to shame, there is no off switch, but now that I've got you thinking about it, you can start questioning it. Why am I feeling this way? Is this correct? If this brought something up for you, I strongly advise you to write about it.

The scary part was to BREATHE. Now I want you to consider your own body and your previous experiences with self-pleasure and sex.

What gives you the most pleasure?

Do you like clitoral stimulation when you touch yourself, or do you enjoy getting filled up by something? Are you a fan of anal stimulation? Do vibrations appeal to you, or do you prefer the sensation of sucking? Consider which parts of your body make you feel the most ecstatic. And remember, nothing is wrong with any of it! We all experience pleasure in various ways and at different times.

And now comes the big question: What will hit the spot? There are SO many possibilities available, so I'll keep it basic and provide some examples.

Clitoral vibrator - If you enjoy having your clit as the center of attention, you must try a clitoral vibrator. These can be in a variety of forms and sizes, ranging from a standard bullet to a magic wand (my personal favorite is the wand massager, which is large and powerful).

G-spot vibrator - if you find that you receive the most pleasure from anything inside you and don't enjoy having too many things going on outside at the same time, you could go for an insertable vibrator or even an insertable dildo - I personally like ceramic and glass dildos.

Dual pleasure (a combination of clitoral and interior stimulation, sometimes referred to as the rabbit vibrator. This is now available in a wide range of options, sizes, and stimulation types) - Dual pleasure is used when a combination of stimuli is required to induce orgasm. Most people, in my opinion, really enjoy these! 

You get a little taste of everything!

Clitoral suction - If you enjoy the pleasures of oral sex, suction gadgets are fantastic. Unlike a vibrator, they use air suction technology to simulate your clit being sucked on. In my opinion, this is a must-try.

Anal plug - If you enjoy getting filled in the rear, a butt plug will be an excellent addition to your repertoire. Sometimes just having something in there will enhance any other enjoyment, whether solitary or coupled!

Anal vibrator - if you're really into butty stuff, you can even locate devices that vibrate! To get the most out of anal devices, use a lot of lubrication.

I realize all of this sounds fantastic, but it may not have helped you make a decision. But hopefully that was a step in the right way for you. When purchasing toys, ensure sure they are made of medical grade silicone or non-toxic materials such as glass, metal, or ceramics.

So, why buy a sex toy? I can't emphasize this enough: your solo enjoyment is your self-care. We should devote as much time to our enjoyment as we do to our morning cup of tea or yoga practice. Masturbation produces a flood of pleasant hormones, which alleviate tension and increase our self-esteem. Touching ourselves reconnects us with our bodies and enables us to understand what we like and dislike so that we can communicate effectively with partners when the time comes. We need to explore more to feel more. Sex and masturbation are not sinful behaviors; they are expressions of strength, confidence, and self-love! We didn't get 10,000 nerve endings in our clitoris for no reason!

I hope you like your She Spot box toy and my book for more information on how to get the most out of your masturbation with tips, methods, and sensual stories to help you on your journey!

Peace, love, and good masturbation!